25 Jun

By Logan Weaver

The jets emit the rumble of 100 rhinos.  The sun dissipating on the horizon.  Ladies and gentleman, we have lift off. Or take off for that matter. You see, I was embarking on a journey that would take me aback, surprise me, make me laugh, stun me, and so much more. I was moving. I suppose that doesn’t seem so odd, but I was moving to Hawaii. When people think of this, they think beaches, bikinis, martinis, and getaways. But when you live in magnificence, you go deeper, you see what is not typically seen, and you find a place’s insecurities. Hawaii has a huge ego to maintain, which by all means, is just fine. But after so much time, you become bored with what you have. So what do you do? You explore. And exploring is dangerous, because you may just find what you’re looking for.

But forgive me; I’m jumping ahead of myself. After my splendid flight, I was surprised to walk of the plane, because the air was uncanny. The humidity mixture hit me like a ton of bricks. But no matter, I suppose I expected this from such a “coastal” environment. I felt superior, being driven down the murky, lonesome road. For some veiled reason, it gave a limelight sense of power, which I appreciated. The sky had almost completely died now, so given these circumstances, I was not able to see much.  Ergo, when we pulled up to the novel house, you might say that it startled me. I was weary, and my eyes had begun to fall heavy. Consequently I fell to the floor and was out like a light.

To my surprise, I was experiencing uncontrollable déjà vu. Shortly after regaining my sense of presence, I realized that this was because all of our belongings were already unpacked and in place. Don’t ask me how this happened, because I wouldn’t be able to tell you whatsoever.

Well, there I went exploring. The first thing that I wanted to do with my time was go see what I had to work with. Trees, rocks, and more trees. This was my first realization that I made regarding Hawaii, and what not everyone knows about it. Just because you live here, doesn’t by any stretch of the imagination, mean that you live in glamour. In fact, if no one had informed me that I was currently in Hawaii, I would have told you that I was in Oregon. I knew that this was just the beginning of my long journey.

The first couple of weeks were fantastic. It was that whole fun-in-the-sun scene. I was relaxed and basically being a tourist. I spent the majority of my time bathing in the sun’s passionate rays. Occasionally I would walk the strip, buying “Hawaii gear” and other trinkets. But the bugs! I hate bugs. I would constantly hear mosquitoes and flies in my ear. The buzz of a generator pulsed through my skin. It was awful. But no matter. Aside from the bugs, and constant paranoia of a tsunami killing you…Hawaii was great.

However it soon seemed that I had engaged myself in everything that I possibly could.  That was just fine. I set off to be a resident of Hawaii, which is indeed what I was. As time passed, my environments seemed to become eccentric. It seemed as if my head was pushing away all of the tourist normalcy and opening my eyes to other things that were lurking behind that. For example, the locals seem ordinary enough; nonetheless, they were very sketchy. You would constantly hear bizarre noises coming from every direction, and see some very stimulating people walking around.

Three weeks of paradise. Yet there I sat, questioning my reason for even being there. I was away from my home, my life, my stuff, and my friends…basically everything that was important to me. My father said that I would make new friends, and that this was our home now. What the hell? That’s what he has to say. Who cared if I believed it? Nobody. I was off to fend for myself in the Hawaiian wilderness. Well, more or less. I lived in the burbs, which on an island in the middle of the ocean is like living on Mars. Our four-acre property did not have one cubic foot where there was not a lava rock or some foreign plant. This took some getting used to. But I could live with it.

For the two years that we spent In Hawaii, I was home-schooled.  Kind of.  I was with this program called A+ learning. They gave me a laptop, and I completed all of my schoolwork on that. It was nice.

We had a large patio overlooking the sea. Birds and mongooses were always spelunking around our yard. I was getting a feel for life on the island… But as I’m sure you already know, kids always have a way of getting effortlessly bored with what they have. I became more enticed with the island. My father and I would travel all around. We visited caverns, waterfalls, “country” roads, hot springs, volcanoes, and a great deal more. My trained eye was noticing many significant objects, and hints along the way. I wasn’t completely sure what I was even looking for, however I knew that if I found it, I would know. I never did. That really angered me, but it added to the everlasting experience of living in such a unique place.

Within about three months of moving into our ocean house, a middle-aged man knocked our door. That’s normal enough right? Not exactly…he showed up at 11:30 p.m. He was drunk, worked at a Denny’s that was thirty miles away, and seemed like he may have been on some type of drug. He asked for a ride and directions to the closest way out of the neighborhood. My dad answered the door, with a knife concealed in his waistband. Trailing off of the current topic, the reason that he had a knife was because when we talked to a cop, he said that living in Ocean View (which is where we were located) you could never be too careful. So we without a doubt took that to heart. We never had to use the knife, but the crazy guy started climbing up our house and knocking down plants and fruit. So we got online and just gave him his directions, and he was on his way. I believe that this is one of the most interesting things that happened during my residency. However, further incidents happened.

There were multiple times that we had to call the police. To my knowledge, the average response time was between ten and fifteen minutes. Well, news flash…I was wrong. When you call anyone but the paramedics in Hawaii, you just need to understand that they will never, on any occasion, show up. I suppose there could possibly be a few exceptions, like that somebody got murdered, but for the most part, you were on your own. This is one of those dirty little secrets that the majority of people in Hawaii will not discover.

The drive from our house to Kona was brutal. There were hundreds of twists and turns, and not to mention, it was about two hours long.  So after the first year of living in Hawaii, we moved much closer to Kona.

Friends and family came to visit us multiple times. And you cannot possibly fathom how content I was whenever our routine changed, because after you live on an island for two years, you begin to lose your mind.

Back to adventuring, trying new things, and discovering “secrets” about Hawaii, that tourists and short-term residents typically don’t notice or understand. What I discovered is that Hawaii is really just an untamable beast that nobody is brave enough to fully indulge in. Let me suggest an example.  On a sweltering day, I was in the “woods” on our property just killing time. I always carried my Swiss Army knife with me because you never can be too careful. Haha. If you were paying attention before, you’ll understand that joke. Anyway, I dropped my knife, so I bent down to pick it up. Keep in mind that I was only eleven, so I suppose you could call me somewhat of a klutz. Ergo, I fell. And it hurt, so I just lay there on the ground for a couple of minutes. I looked in the general direction of our house, and saw a very…hmmmm, complex shape under the house. Our house was elevated off the ground and had about a foot and a-half of space between the rocky ground and the bottom of the house. I ran inside and grabbed a flashlight.

Seeing an unrecognized object under my home scared the hell out of me. I got on my stomach and ducked under the house. The moist atmosphere stunned me. I believe that I was so startled because the mid-afternoon air was so damn hot. I sucked it up (metaphorically and literally) and kept moving. I had to travel about sixty or so feet to get to the “box.” But when I got there and turned on my light, I realized that it wasn’t a box at all. It was a coffin. I screamed, and thought I was going to start crying, but then I realized that I was a guy, and no guy would cry when seeing some old coffin that wasn’t related to him at all. So I pulled myself together and turned around. I was way too freaked out to actually take it out, or God knows, open it. So for all I know, it could have been filled with love letters, or a corpse. We will never know.

Well actually, I lied just then. I’m not completely sure why, but I took the coffin out and proceeded to open it. What I found inside is only for me to know. But this is proof that Hawaii holds many secrets, and sometimes it may just be best to leave them alone.

Even through the goods and the bads, the experiences that I encountered in Hawaii were the best in my life. I took away much, and hopefully will forget nothing.


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